The beginning of cherishing...

Starting today .... I can promise you that you know as little about this blog as I. Tonight, I came home stressed and lacking as a person. My little one was difficult and to get him to settle I laid with him and he snuggled up... My heart melted and my anger melted away. I got up and watched "The Heart of Christmas." It made me think.... think about how easy I have had it and how many miracles I have and have had in my life. How may examples I have had of courage, faith and strength and how far away I have gotten from them all. I have been neglectful of friends and family ad let the dramas of my own life get in the way without ever to much as letting people know the influence and impact they have had in my life in so many positive ways. This has to change, I have to end this and extend my apologize to all I have not been there for, in the way they have been there for me. There are so many things I am sorry for and would change if I could.. I cannot go back but I will aim to change them. A week or two ago I went to a potluck at the Eastminister Church in Toronto. It had such an impact on me. We all ate together and chatted. Many people I have never met before. It was so enlightening to be there with people who where not interested in my economic status,or appearance. People who, remembered and used your name from the first moment you met them... I am going to have to work on this. I watched Aiden play in the gymnasium and I played with him. He never wanted it to end. He wasn't even interested in playing; he wanted one thing.... to play basketball with his Mommy. He just wanted my time and attention, which saddens me as a I realize he has had much less of that than he deserves. What a gift to realize it. I decided last weekend to give up all of my obligations and take off with my family to St. Thomas Ontario. Aiden was so pleased that Charles( my better and much more domesticated half) was going. He never complained the whole trip. We got there and had a visit with my Grandma and my Nana. Two women for whom I owe a lot of my sense of family to. My only regret is that I did not make it to London, as i had planned to make two surprise visits. I was also able to meet up with some friends who I had not seen in quite a while, Beth, Darrel and the kidlets. I was so greatful and uplifted by these visits and although, I was exhausted going home, I felt a real sense of appreciation and relief. The next day I attended Church which has surprisingly become a regular part of my week and something Aiden and I do together each week. Mu point is I believe that this year has been a new start to cherishing the moments, however, now it is my mission to attend to my life, my friends and my family. Today I was on Craigs list and a woman who is recently widowed and has been given a lot of food advertised that she would like to give the excess frozen food to a family in need and another who had lost there job but was looking to provide the fixings for a family meal for Christmas... Wow... what can you say but wow... I am on a mission, money is tight Christmas is coming....Santa has taken care of Aiden and I am going to aim to write about each person who has meant something to my life and as well plan to spend time with them on some level over the holiday... I am not a mushy person... no not at all but I have been so fortunate... Today I am Thankful that Aiden is healthy and that he has a great (not necessarily always appropriate) vocabulary. I am grateful that Julie's Kidney transplant was successful and that My friend Kelly is finally a Mommy although I think she always was but now she gets to be a Mommy at home.